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Sunday, January 15

A.A.A.D.D. Disease

A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder:

Once again, I am inspired by one of the many e-mail forwards. I laughed my ass off when I read this, and realized that it’s me too, and probably most of you as well. If not, your day is coming. I’m pretty sure there’s no cure for this ailment, but laughing at it and realizing that you are not alone is very anticdotal. Here’s the scenario, and how it manifests...

“I decide to wash my car.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the hall table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice the trash can is full.

So I decide to put the bills back on the table, and take out the trash first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash, I should pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook out of my purse, and realize there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in my office, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke can aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, so I decide I should put it in the refrigerator so that it will stay cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye...they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I had better put them back on my desk, but first I am going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly, I spot the TV remote...someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers are not watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.”

After reading this and realizing how much this resembles me... It dawned on me that my teenagers and even younger people suffer. I also determined that I am a young 43, and my age cannot be causing all the symptoms. I pondered over other possible causes for this mental confliction, and I came up with this conclusion... I think there are several strains of this affliction:

D.A.A.D.D. – Drunk Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
S.A.A.D.D. – Stoned Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
D.G.A.S.A.A.D.D. – This is the teenage version of the disease – Don’t Give A Shit Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

We can probably beat the kids a little more and shape them out of the D.G.A.S.A.A.D.D., but in reality, that will only postpone the onset of the other three variations. Heck, we all have to die of something right?? Might as well be something we can laugh about...