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Saturday, January 28

My Slurpee Story

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I really didn't have an idea for a story tonight, but then I was roaming around and reading another blog I really like by Janee the comedian. Her post tonight cracked me up, and reminded me of my own Slurpee & 7-11 story.

I was dealing in the casino one night long ago... and it was a HORRIBLE night. One of those dreaded nights a dealer has when you just know you are going to make just enough money to maybe cash your car out of the parking garage to get home. But, being the always "glass-half-full" employee I was at that time, I continued to smile and just get the 8 hours over with. I got stuck with a table line-up that night that would make the normal guy quit. (For non-gambling types)... A dealer on any given day usually has three tables they deal with for the shift. One hour on...20 minute break...next table... repeat...repeat.

It was about an hour or so before the grace of God would take me out of the place for the day. It was snowing horribly outside and needless to say...no one but homeless and local trolls were out gambling. I was stuck on a $2.oo table with a guy that was so gross and ugly, I'm not sure he even had a face a mother could love. He stunk, could not play cards to save his ass, and I knew he would never tip me if Hell itself froze over first. I tried to strike up a conversation with him just to make the time pass. But as luck would have it, he was a mute...so I thought.

Then...out of the blue...here came a full blown Muslim man with the attitude from hell. Acted like he was some high roller and cashed in his $20 dollar bill set out to make his fortune. Well, sorry to say folks, dealers truly have NO ABILITY to make any given person's luck better or worse. The cards fall how they fall, and that's that. Well, this guy lost three hands in a row (at $2.oo each), and was LIVID. He DEMANDED of me that next round, I let HIM shuffle the cards. The fight was on, and anyone that knows me, knows that I hate public confrontation more than anything!

I explain to this foreign Middle-East "gentleman" that, "I'm sorry sir, it is not possible for you to shuffle the cards." He argues and demands, and then...I have to call the pit boss over for assistance. (Mind you...the whole time...the mute drunk is still sitting at the table). The pit boss comes over and explains to the gentleman that I am not cheating...so sorry you lost $6, but you cannot shuffle the cards. Just as the Arab guy is about to get in the pit boss's face too... my mute drunk stands up like Muhammed Ali coming to my defense... His comment:

"Hey MotherF.....er...She doesn't come to your 7-11 and ask to run your Slurpee machine...YOU CANNOT SHUFFLE THE CARDS!"