Obama Will Lose - It's ALL MY FAULT!

Oh Lordy...gotta love your friends...the ones that REALLY love you back I mean :) It's also quite SPOOKY what can be done on the internet these days with a few key strokes! My Lord...who could know what truth is anymore? I called my friend immediately to make sure it was him...as I only have one Richard friend. He fessed up and we laughed A LOT! I thought for a minute I had been stalked by the Obamanots! Check it out, then make your own for your friends...the one's you really LOVE :) THANK GOD I already cast my vote, and if McCain wins by just one vote I CAN ONLY HOPE IT WAS MINE THAT MADE IT HAPPEN :) (even though these folks want you to vote for Obama).

Pole In The Hole Race

Who says we rednecks don't know how to have some crazy fun :) This is FUNNY with a bit of adult humor inferred, and YES...ALL PUNS ARE INTENDED!

Senate Passes Rescue / Bailout Bill

I'm so pissed right now I can't see straight, but I'll make it short, sweet, and to the point so that common everyday middle class folks like the ones Obama wants to save can understand it! Your Senate just passed a bill NOT at $700 BILLION, but at $850 BILLION with incentives included. Including a nice tax break for a "little company" that makes wooden arrows for children's toys. I don't get why THAT small business (or large more likely) got a break instead of ALL businesses...but here's my redneck lame joke that brings it all into TRUE PERSPECTIVE! During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director of the Asylum, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be instutionalized?" "Well", said the Director, "We fill up a bathtub. We then offer a teaspoon, a tea cup, and a bucket to the patient and ask them to choose their implement of choice in which to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I get it.", said the visitor. "The normal person will choose the bucket because it is bigger than the teaspoon or the tea cup." "NO!!", said the Director. "The NORMAL PERSON would pull the plug!" "Would you like a bed near the window?" That's what it has come to folks...Republican or Democrat...ANYBODY THAT VOTED FOR THIS BILL needs a bed somewhere in an asylum!

George Bush Curses Ahmadinejad at UN

This is a funny little spoof! I bet ole' George W. would give anything to be able to do it just this way. Enjoy :)

It's Time For Some Campaignin' Jib Jab

On this day of somber memory...we take off our political hats and remember 9-11. My somber remembrance is in the post just below this one. We can't deny it's a political campaign year though, and on this day I refuse to banter Republican or Democrat :) Take two minutes and watch this funny little clip to bring some laughter to this somber day and put a jump in your step with the colorful tune. No matter which party you might affiliate yourself with, or if you affiliate with none at all...this will make you smile. You'll recognize every caricature in the clip too :) It's Time For Some Campaignin' !

Sawed In Half Trick - Kevin James

Do we ever get too old for a good magic trick? Even the "Idol" judges loved this one. It's short and sweet, but WOW! The best Saw In Half trick I've ever seen. Take a look :)

Animator vs. Animation

Alan Becker did some AMAZING WORK with this little piece of ART. Who knew a stick man could conquer so much ? CLICK HERE to enjoy the animation. It's short, smart, and worth the watch!

Political Correctness

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end" Author Unknown

Super Tuesday Leads to Duper Wednesday

Well, Super Tuesday is over, and Duper Wednesday begins a new era in which we are all to be duped into thinking our nation actually has a conservative candidate. Many people that I talked to today are literally sickened as I am; sickened to a physical and psychological level of true illness. It’s so hard to believe that those that we the people entrusted with our nation’s continuation of existence as the greatest nation on earth, have been so greedy and obsessed with their own agendas and their own struggle for power and dominance at any cost, that they have handed our well being over, and have dismissed us all as garbage. It was so obvious that the McCain camp pulled an all nighter on speech preparation. John McCain might as well have been a puppet this morning on national news. His pursed little lips moved up and down in exact synchronization quoting the opposite of the very statements that have been used to bash the idea that he is anywhere close to Conservative. And, he had Joe Lieberman standing behind him as a pal! Everything we’ve all stated that he CAN’T, HASN’T, and WON’T do if elected, he stood before us and lied through his puppet string pulled teeth quoting how conservative he actually is and what good he is going to accomplish forthcoming. He stressed on and on about how his big goal now is to unite the Conservative party and get the party behind him and convince the Republicans and others that he really IS CONSERVATIVE and he really WILL do new things. It was obvious that he was trying harder to convince himself that he was trying to convince us, we already know it’s all bullshit. HELLOOO! Our party IS UNITED. We’ve always been united on strong Conservative beliefs. The only reason there is a need to have a huge push to unite the Republican party behind John McCain, is because HE ISN’T REPUBLICAN OR CONSERVATIVE. We Conservatives have a real hard time rallying behind the long proven untruth that a square peg can be forced into a round hole. No matter what spews forth from John McCain’s lips, it’s all just lip service. He WON’T practice what he’s now preaching. It’s such a shame. On the lighter side though…there is a symptomatic cure for this illness millions of us are suffering from on this Duper Wednesday. This disease was caused from over-exposure to Super Duper Tuesday. It’s McClintonitis. It’s OK, hopefully the disease is not fatal; however, final results of testing won’t be available for at least four years. In the mean time, take large doses of Political Pepto, and write your congressman in the morning :)

Super Tuesday - Electile Dysfunction

All of us are suffering from electile dysfunction... You can't get aroused by any of the candidates. -- Wayne Rogers Thanks Jim for the cute steal :) Life on Planet Jim: Weekend Quote 01/26/08

Hillary Ambivalence Syndrome

ATTENTION AMERICAN WOMEN: If you might suffer from Hillary Ambivalence Syndrome, have no fear, there is a new drug for you. You can be cured. This drug will also ease the symptoms of the rawness and itching that has been occurring in your anal region due to the load of hype that has been repeatedly shoved up your private cavity during this presidential campaign. Do your self a favor and take less than two minutes to find out how you can once again become a normal member of a sane society.

Governmentium - Heaviest Element Known To Man

Recent hurricanes, gasoline issues, election caucuses, etc. are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, and element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

New Government Emblem

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Women As Explained By Engineers

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Big White Hat - Influential Music

Big White Hat’s at it again :) Who were/are the most INFLUENTIAL musicians? Well BWH…damn ya, darn ya…there you go making me think again :) (No wonder you won the "Thinking Blogger's Award"). So hard to pick five. AND, when you back off of favorite, and strictly think influential…there were so many! Your scenario of your work is funny…you see…back in the day…crap dealers too had a fair amount of time on their hands some days, and of course “we’re too above” trivial chatter, we would come up with games like these to pass the time intellectually in order to make ourselves seem quite educated and im-po-tent :) Here’s my list…and some of them I don’t even like that much :o) My list doesn’t fall in any particular order, as I believe that depending on which generation you are in…your guy is the most influential… 1. The Beatles 2. BB King 3. Elton John 4. Elvis Presley 5. Hank Williams, Sr.

Interview Me Meme

I got tagged by EDog’s Everything Page, and yes…because I offered…I thought it would be fun. Ian (EDog) is a soon to be famous author, and a designer of a crazy superhero web comic called Adventures of the S-Team created with Lego’s! He is, of course, a fellow blogger…along with being a husband, father, and a guy still with a day job too. Welcome to the INTERVIEW MEME. It works like this… I’ll answer Ian’s questions here. If you like, I’ll interview you :) Directions follow my answers… 1. Tell us about your three companies. Which one is the money pit and which one is the tax shelter? We are just “Mom & Pop” companies, so there is no DEEP money pit, but we’re proud of our little Mom & Pop empire. Our first was a big rig truck garage (Nov. 2002). Started with 4 guys and now we have 4 mobile service trucks, a dozen mechanics and several support personnel. (This would be the money pit I guess). We got sick and tired of poor service and high prices from some parts vendors, so we opened a parts store. The original idea to open a store front and have other people run it failed. Not quitters though, we leased our store to another business and moved the tiny operation under the same roof as the truck garage. Being so busy with the successful truck garage, and not ever being able to find a heavy duty truck and trailer parts genius to pay a big salary too…we just keep that one open for the ability to buy parts from ourselves and save our customers money. We sell parts to a few, but we just don’t have the time or the personnel to grow it. (I guess that one would be the tax shelter, although it makes a little money on its own). And almost a year ago, if we weren’t busy enough…a man had mismanaged a little shop around the corner and had to go out of business. We have turned away tons of pickups at our big rig garage…so when the other guy went out…we formed a new corporation and opened a diesel pickup garage. I run that one now, and I started with two guys, I now have five. We’re looking for a larger building, and this one will be fun too in it’s time. 2. What’s your favorite Blonde joke? OMG…since I AM Blonde, I’ve probably just about heard them all. How can you tell a Blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? There’s M&M shells all over the floor. 3. What’s your best party trick? That’s funny… OBVIOUSLY, dancing on a pole IS NOT IT! We have an annual customer/vendor appreciation – employee Christmas party in which about 250-300 people attend. In this BAD photo someone caught far too late in the night…my crazy friend Capri is attempting to give me pointers. Actually, I’m really quite tame at parties (other than I run my mouth too much sometimes), but I’d say my best party trick is actually quality conversation with folks I haven’t seen in a while, and an ear to listen for those wanting to talk… 4. Describe a brush with greatness in your life. Well, this answer is easy, and without a doubt. I had a wonderful youth; I had a great career for 20 years as a casino dealer. I’ve met many many famous people, and have done some crazy things, and have been accomplished at several. However…without a doubt…my touch with greatness has come twice, and each time has been miraculous. That would be the birth of my two children. My boys are 23 and 17, and I will never again touch greatness more than I have by spending the years having had the privilege to be their Mother. 5. Finish this sentence: “The sickest I’ve ever been…” Oh my… My girlfriends and I went to Rosarito Beach, Mexico for a girl’s weekend. I don’t know what I got a hold of, but the drive home was painful and torturous. FINALLY after hours of wishing I would die in the back seat of a small rental car, driving from Mexico to Las Vegas, I finally got sick. Pretty much my entire body exploded, and for the first and hopefully ONLY time in my life, I found out what projectile vomiting really is. Oddly enough…it was over quickly, and on life went on. Never before, and never since. Montezuma’s Revenge is real people. DIRECTIONS FOR THE INTERVIEW MEME: 1. Leave a comment saying, "Interview me." 2. I will respond by emailing you five questions (if I don't have your email address, you can email me instead – Click the “Contact Author” link underneath my profile). I get to pick the questions. 3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. 4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Vote On IMUS Here - I'm Curious What You Think

Click HERE to vote on your own IMUS opinion...

State Map Test - Third Grade - You Try It

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos OK…let’s have some educational fun. I thought this would be no big deal…WHOA…It’s harder than it looks. This was a test given third graders before passing into the fourth grade. See how quickly you can “drag & drop” each state to its appropriate spot on the map of the USA. I found it a bit embarrassing that I struggled on a few, actually…I struggled pretty hard on a few. I think you are all probably very smart though and will fair nicely. It’s fun, and if you have children of the third to fourth grade, bookmark the site, it’s a fun way to learn geography and you could incorporate naming the capital city as you place each one. Good luck! CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE STATE MAP TEST…

Stupid Criminal Files Drew My Name!

My funny friends over at Stupid Criminal Files just celebrated their 2nd Blog birthday recently. Their site is dedicated to sharing with all of us the antics and bad attempts at crime by some of the world’s most accomplished morons. I enjoy reading there, and never come away without a laugh. As part of their birthday celebration, they had a give-away for their loyal readers, fans, and subscribers. THEY DREW MY NAME and I won a $15 gift certificate to Amazon.com. I am proud to say I will use this certificate to pre-order the new Harry Potter book (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Book 7) that will release July 21, 2007. Thanks guys! It’s a pleasure to be a fan. Congratulations on your 2nd birthday, and kudos to you for having over 2 MILLION HITS to date. You have a great site and do a good job keeping us all entertained. Keep up the good work.

Gaspirtz.com - Bizarre Cartoons

Like weird cartoons and enjoy reading comics? Oliver Gaspirtz is the man of bizarre cartoons. You may obtain lots of free cartoons at Gaspirtz.com. Gaspirtz cartoons have appeared in such publications such as National Enquirer and the Saturday Evening Post. If you enjoy dark humor and funny pictures, give the site a look.