Monday Mailgasms

Daily, we are all bombarded with useless junk e-mail in our in boxes. Most of the several hundred pieces of wasteful tripe are advertisements for larger sex organs, Viagra, or Cialis. Many others are credit card opportunities and scam offers to get rich quick. However, there are some so bizarre, that you have to laugh when reading the subject lines. Monday Mailgasms are the favorites I pick out throughout the week, and comment on. I print them as they come, bad spelling, no capital letters, etc. Since none of us open this garbage, one can only imagine what the content might have been. This week’s winners are… (BY THE WAY…My comments usually suck :) If you can think of a funnier possibility for the subject caption, PLEASE COMMENT YOURSELF…WE COULD ALL USE THE LAUGH! SUBJECT: / COMMENT: He irreproachable herself voltmeter: This could go two ways. Poor guy…he’s so ugly and so bad in bed…she’s inserted a voltmeter to gauge the excitement level. I wonder which reading gives him the OK to proceed? taciturn: Oh, this person must know the woman in #1. Taciturn means someone that’s been temperamentally disinclined to talk. It must be in the air… typographer more budapest: No thank you…don’t need a job badly enough to work in Budapest! fluster microscopic: Somebody else needs a voltmeter! And hotchkiss from lazbuddie: If the game of hotchkiss is anything like hotch-scotch, a lazy buddy wouldn’t be fun to play with. That takes energy and coordination. on the cheek from an innocent boy: Sounds like part of a court transcript at Michael Jackson’s trial! (UGGHHH!) pereshel polem: Not another stranded polar bear! glitzy cunning: Sanjaya…Dude…I heard on the news today that Brittney Spears wants to do an album with you, she says the two of you could make “beautiful music” together… DON’T DO IT…RUN…your career hasn’t even started yet…you’ve had enough bad publicity through American Idol. The last thing you need is Ms. Spears.