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From country to city, From farm to fireworks…Through marriage & children, Through employment & ownership, Life continues to be an amazing journey…

Monday, September 10

The Empty Nest

The Empty Nest:

I remember sitting as a young woman of 20 holding my first born son in my arms wondering what it would be like someday when he was all grown up and gone from home. So impossible to imagine then, but a little brother six years later, and now with both of them gone 24 years later, the empty nest is a reality.

The empty nest is a huge room contained in a tiny emotional space called the heart, that encompasses every emotion one woman can have. These emotions come right along with all other emotions that an almost 45 year old woman already has to deal with. At this age, a lifetime of raising children is over, a career is usually coming to its peak, marriage and life’s relationships are more defined, and of course, there is the ever changing physical roller coaster of female maturity. It’s a true yen and yang balance of highs and lows and all in between.

So while you’ve had 24 years in which to imagine how it would be, and six years since the first child left to prepare for the final empty nest…it is still an experience to travel through. The empty nest is a joyous place, a relief on some levels, and a sad and lonely place with new worries all of its own. So, no matter how much you prepare yourself for it, reactions are varied, and a mid-life crisis ensues no matter how intelligent the passer-through :)

Yes, I have a wonderful 24 year old son that continually pleases me with his own changes of life. He works for our company and his growth, burgeoning family and ongoing maturity is a blessing and heartwarming. Little brother just left for college (about 3 miles away), and his newfound changes are coming quickly and are both heartwarming and humorous. Humorous in the fact that I see things happening to him that I remember from my youth, and I chuckle in a good way to watch him experience it all and watch his wonder and quick growth toward his manhood.

Day by day, I find myself changing and going through a new period in my life. It’s exciting and different because I’m at an age that change is no longer scary, and I have the maturity to stop, think, and plan the next course. However, there is a new feeling of youth when the kids go away. Old enough to “think you’re planning responsibly”, but “giddy enough” to have a mid-life crisis that’s OK.

So what did I do? Don’t ask me why I didn’t enjoy the peace and quiet for a bit…NO…I got a new puppy! I guess I couldn’t stand not being a Mommy, so Scooter came into our lives. He’s a Yorkie – Maltese mix, and what a handful!

The eldest son continues to support Mom and grow at work. His girlfriend and her daughter continue to become dearer and dearer to us. Youngest comes by occasionally to do laundry and visit, and he is so busy with college and a job. Their visits and phone calls and e-mails have become the norm, rather than the usual rut of…”Take out the trash, clean your room, etc.”. I have little big men now. My sons have turned out OK. They are the finest two things I have ever accomplished, I love them both so much, and they make me smile :)

So, with the addition of the new puppy, and more time for hubby and I…what could be next? Possibly boobs and a new Hummer H3??? Hey, if you’re going to have a mid-life crisis…make it a good one huh??


Karen Shiebler said...

Sharing your journey, and all those emotions. I continually wonder why the three great kids and the solid marriage aren't quite enough. Or the two big dogs, for that matter! I find myself constantly asking "What's next?" and I love your thought that "if you're going to have a mid-life crisis, make it a good one!"