Not that there weren’t tragedies before Columbine, but being the age my kids were at the time of Columbine, and the magnitude of Columbine, that story seems to be my marking point of always thinking about that possibility for my children.
Recently, the massacre at Virginia Tech superseded the magnitude of Columbine, and again, the thoughts come back to the possibility of one of my children finding themselves in that place.
It’s a dumbfounding thing to “know” someone that was just a kid when you first ever met them, had fond thoughts of them when they did accomplish things good, and then a mere few years later see them be the guy that consciously chooses to crash a party they weren’t even invited to, get pissed off over nothing, and make the real decision to go back to a vehicle, get a gun, and kill three people.
Thank God my child just happened not to attend this party. However, (link below) if my son would have been there, he’s the type of good guy that would have tried to help. The kid that tried to reason with younger belligerent trouble makers found himself dead with a bullet in his head.
This post is a huge outcry for me…not to tell the story of the tragedy, but to make us all realize that it’s happening more and more often, and each time for no stupid reason at all. As with all problems in our society today; the answer is not the reporting of each time it happens, or the spin of the drama, but to put a finger on WHY!
One of the kids arrested for this horrible atrocity was a high school football hero. He accomplished many good things. His family was well involved with the school he attended and did great things with school fundraisers and participation above and beyond what a lot of people do. We all know that bad things happen to good people, and that some great parents have kids that go bad, and some horrible parents have children that achieve amazing feats. But WHY…WHY do so many these days flop at such a young age?
I cannot speak for the parents of either of the young men arrested for this egregious crime. From what I saw of one family, I envied the parents for being able to do more than I did at the high school. But then again, we are never behind anyone else’s closed doors, a lot goes on there. But, when these kinds of things happen, and especially since this happened in my community, and I at least had some knowledge, though limited, of some of the players…it draws me to think and think hard.
As a parent, in these times, I think about where the structure of society has failed. I know we are too busy. I know that the necessity of taking care of business (especially since I finally own two businesses) sometimes makes us not take care of life.
I know that having children six years apart gave me a little extra time in the system, and even though I’m guilty of being too busy…the time I did spend at the school…over time…led me to know that our parenting skills, our liberal schools, and our excuses have created a monster.
I know that my mother would never have let me out of the house wearing bra straps showing, colored hair green or red, skirts too short for TV (at that time the Cleaver’s), or having any answer be “whatever”! I know that when I was arguing with my mother about my “radical” music…we were arguing that the Doobie Brothers’ lyrics “Jesus is my friend” was NOT sacrilegious. I know that I was more afraid that my parents would know of any wrong doing than I might be worried that the cops would know about what I did. I know that yes mam (thought it was mamn, but even that isn’t in dictionary.com anymore) and yes sir, thank you, and excuse me were mandatory parts of speech. I know that Bible (whether you believed or not), Flag, and Family were taught as priorities IN THAT ORDER. God, Country, Family. And believe me…FAMILY was HUGE when I was a child, so to be taught that God and Country were allowed to be considered priorities BEFORE FAMILY was really huge. Not today.
We have slowly over the past twenty or fifty years or so eliminated any emotion. Hell, any emotion that is positive anymore is ILLEGAL. Rather than to CHANNEL emotion into its proper category, our liberal society has chosen to pass laws to ELIMINATE EMOTION all together. We cannot discipline our kids anymore at school. Teachers are not allowed to TEACH anymore. This has gone on so long that our current generations of kids are products of teachers and parents that got mentally eliminated the generation before them.
I hate to admit it, but even I at age 44 was a victim of some liberalization along the way…otherwise…I would have spent more time with my kids. I would have demanded in my lifetime, along with my husband, that a man doing a good day’s work could make enough money, would not be taxed so heavily, and would be so appreciated for his efforts that he could support his family, and his wife could be able to stay at home and raise the kids and provide a home for all.
I am a career woman. I am proud of my business accomplishments as a woman in a man’s world if you will. However, with children of 24 & 18…I would give up in a minute some of the money I’ve made, or some of the success I have had to get back YEARS that cannot be regained to have spent more quality time with my kids. The years I was a single mom I had no choice. But then again, even when married…today two people can’t raise a family on one income. I worked then when married. We do what we have to do, but we sacrifice entire generations in the process.
This country has to get back to the basics. When kids have no solid source for ground basic building blocks, they will build a life on wobbly legs and foundations. When our parents don’t parent, and our schools don’t teach, the kids are left to flop. Kids, even in the old days learn manipulation first. Think about the baby trick…the one when they are so cute and you give them a toy…they pick it up and throw it on the floor. You pick it up, and they throw it again. We’ve all done it, and realize…NO NO…we’re not going to play that game. Then, when they throw the toy…you pick it up once, and put it away. Guess what?...the kid learns, and the behavior stops. Where did we all go so wrong that we did not carry that theory and practice forward throughout life? They’ll probably pass a law soon that we must keep picking up the plastic ring of keys as to not hurt a baby’s self esteem!
Both of my sons have known kids that today are criminals locked up, or “victims” or “enablers” of violent or drug crimes. Both of my young sons know more dead kids from their graduating class than are dead from my graduating class over 25 years ago. It’s a domino theory. My parents were hard asses. I got whipped (spanked or excessively yelled at) is more the real term, but as much as I bitched about my folks and my discipline, at least I turned out somewhat OK. Without my folks beating life into my head, I wouldn’t have had a hope of normalcy. Life is tough. Life is an uphill struggle, and if done with some basic values and discipline, at middle age you get to look back and smile. I’m afraid if we don’t get a grip on the basics; smiles are going to go away.
I’m just so proud that I have two sons that have grown into what I think to be good and strong young men. I know they could have even done better had I demanded to be more involved. I’m amazed at my children, but I know I could have demanded more of myself as a parent and didn’t. I know that my kids managed a lot at times that they weren’t taught or guided through. I know I got lucky. I know that on any given day, one of my sons might fail due to my past negligence as a parent. I know that I’ve seen way too many close calls in my community. I know that my sons could have been at the wrong place at the wrong time more than once and I could be one of the families gut wrenched and sobbing on this day.
I know that the few readers of this blog that I have regularly know where I’m coming from. I’m still guilty of not having enough time to just write. If even a few read, someone hears. WE HAVE TO GET THIS COUNTRY AND OUR YOUTH BACK TO WHERE IT USED TO BE. Remember, these 18-30 year old people are taking our places as we prepare to retire. We can’t work forever. We have to put our collective feet down and reclaim our country before it just collapses down the tunnel of suction we’ve all collectively allowed to happen. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Inconvenient or not, the conservative of us have to make time to squeak more often and louder.
In closing, my sincere condolences to the families and friends of those wonderful young men that lost their lives for absolutely no reason…except that hopefully more people will try to fix the WHY. If we get back to the point that the good guys really do win, then these young men will stand in infamy as to why it does pay to work hard, play responsibly, and enjoy youth to the extent you can before marriage and business take a normal course. Halloween parties should not be outlawed, and the young people that died didn’t deserve it. The dead were people that stood up and stood for something others with the same chance thought should be given to them for free. The guilty were young men that were not of poverty or prejudice. They were simply young men that didn’t give a shit, and thought that evil brings power, and power is worth more than life. They are powerless now and may they rot in hell for their attitude.
No matter how bad your parents might be, or how good and strict your parents might be…no matter how shitty you “think” you had life, or maybe you DID have a shitty youth…at age 18…IT’S ALL UP TO YOU…
Once an adult, be an adult. Get it…the real world doesn’t give a shit about your self esteem, and power over others doesn’t gain you anything but even more responsibility to achieve. When put in a position of power, you must be even more careful than ever as to not rock the natural boat of balance. Power is as much a responsibility as it is a gift or achievement. Power is parenting.
Power in the general sense correlates with money. Money gained by power, if not placed or invested properly can shift the nation’s economy. Young people not taught properly, who gain power and money by force and evil can change an entire nation.
This country was founded by humans, powerful yes, but raised or convicted by beliefs of reason. Our youth as a whole, our adults as a whole have lost the concept of reason with the elimination of emotion. Let’s get it back in a positive way. Let’s make power again a good thing. Let’s work hard to make power a thing that will cradle those not able to achieve it.
LET US TEACH THAT POWER BY BULLY IS COWARDICE, true power is success and sacrifice. Let us all be willing to have less money and less power while we spend more time at home and gently enjoy our children with guidance and love. Let us all not end up middle aged before we realize that we should have given up really a little way back when to have accomplished so much more years later. Let us ALL actually listen to those smart elders that say, “Believe me, I’ve been there, you should do……..”Local Story 1
Local Story 2
From country to city, From farm to fireworks…Through marriage & children, Through employment & ownership, Life continues to be an amazing journey…