Anna Nicole Smith Death Tape

Oh for Pete’s sake…will the real father please stand up? Goodness, gracious, I certainly hope something worthwhile happens in the world immediately so that my television isn’t bombarded on every channel with the “NOT” news of the dead drama queen slut Anna Nicole Smith. Somebody paid $500,000 for the video embedded at the top of this story. Now, there’s a good waste of enough money to feed hundreds of starving children for a very long time. Autopsy results today revealed nothing substantial (I’m shocked), and it will be three to five weeks until final results are released pending toxicology findings. She’s been terminally stoned and wasted every time I’ve seen her on television for as many years as I can remember. Around our house, we call that condition “Perma-Fried”. Anna Nicole can now join the ranks of other Perma-Fried celebrities such as Bob Dylan, Dean Martin, Ted Kennedy, Paris Hilton, and others. If all the bad publicity surrounding this dead diva hasn’t been enough in recent weeks, now Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Prince Frederick von Anhalt says he had a lengthy and torrid affair with the psycho bombshell and thinks HE may be the father of infant daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stark (gotta’ get ALL the appropriate last names in there for effect). The ONLY SAD and disturbing thing coming from all this is the little girl Dannielynn. She had no hope for any kind of a future with a nut job mother like Anna Nicole, and in my opinion (which this whole post is…just my ignorant opinion)…that creepy wanna-be celeb lawyer Howard K. Stern is no choice for a role model either. Hopefully, when all the dust settles, poor baby Dannielynn will be placed with loving people who will raise her in a good and decent home. It’s never the kids’ fault, and it is a true shame that repugnantly hopeless people like Anna Nicole Smith are even allowed to reproduce, and if I were any of the multitudes of men that claim to have donated sperm, I certainly wouldn’t admit to screwing a classless woman like Anna Nicole. Good luck Dannielynn, may you find hope, grace, and love in your future…and may your life NOT be clouded with haunts of paparazzi.